sudarshan

(hasy wyangy par aadharit blanga) ab sudarshan www.kmmishra.tk par bhi upalabdh hai .

panch chatapati khabaren . (wyangya/kartoona)

Posted by K M Mishra on January 4, 2010


1- pak pradhanamantri ke salahakar ne kaha hai ki donon mulkon ke bich nadi jal bantaware ka mudda behad sanwedanashil hai aur isake liye danon mulkon ke bich jang bhi ho sakati hai .
sarakari aadami apane deshawasiyon aur fauj ka moral badane ke liye aisi falatu baten karate rahate hain . waise to duniya dekh hi rahi hai ki taliban ne pakistani fauj ki lanka laga rakhi hai . pakistan men roj itte sare bam fat rahe hain ki aag bujhane ke liye sasuron ko wakaee men pani ki kami jhelani pad rahi hai . aaj pakistan men pani manhaga aur khoon sasta ho gaya hai isaliye wahan ki sadakon par khoon aur insani lothadon ki nadiyan bah rahi hain . chirakuton, hamare bhi bade araman the ki do char bangladesh aur bana dete lekin tum khud hi apane bhagandar se pareshan ‘uee amma, uee abba, uee amerika’ karate ghoom rahe ho . talibani bhi ek nambar ke samalaingi nikale, apane abba ke pichhawade ki hi sewa karane lage, pitrbhakt kahin ke .

2- doosari majedar khabar ye hai ki aastreliya men hasinayen apane banyafrend se jyada apane mobail ko pyar karati hain . bechare mobail ki to maut ho jati hogi itta pyar-dular pakar . mar pappi-sappi le kar lithed deti hongi bhainaji log to mobail pyare ki to aaisi-faisi men shart sarkit ho jata hoga . pyar ke daibitij ka mara, bechara mobail . aisi haiwi dooyooti to banyafrend hi de sakata hai . taine pyar men gila kiya to main kahan pichhe rahane wala hoon . khair .

3- to bhaiya, sal ke ant men jakar bebo ko ek adad hit film mil hi gayi, ‘thri idiyata’ . bebo khushi ke mare balliyan uchhal rahin thi ki kisi dilajale ne aakar kah diya ki aapaka to rol hi bitta bhar hai film men . bebo gusse men lal pil ho gayin .

‘karararroo’ diyar falatu men tum apana raha saha khoon bhi jala rahi ho . aamir khan ki film ki sakses ka kredit to khud dairektar-prodayoosar bhi unase nahin chhin sakate fir film ki hiroin ki bisat hi kya hai . itana hi bahut hai ki tumhara nam ez hiroin chala gaya film men . chetan bhagat ka hal to tum dekh hi rahi ho bechara film men ez raeetar nam dalawane ke liye jamin aasaman ek kiye huye hain aur tare hain ki jamin par aate hi nahin .
4- poorw aastreliyaee kaptan iyan chaipal ka kahana hai ki wirendr sahawag naye jamane ke bredamain hain . chaipal ne kaha ki jis tarah se breborn stediyam men unhonne shrilankaee aakraman ka katleaam kiya, wah is bat ka saboot hai ki ki wah yu bot (jarman sainy panadubbi) ke bad sabase bada widhwansak hai .
chaipal bhaee tumhari bat se ham bhi sahamat hain . wiru bahut bada widhwansak hai . agar chal gaya to wipakshi ke liye aur nahin chala to hamare liye . lo ji fir aaut ho gaya do chaooye mar kar .


5- aur panchawin khabar to aisi bamfat hai ki ginij buk wale sir ke bal daude chale aayen . munbaee men santakrooj hawaee adde par eyar indiya ka ek wiman 15 ghanton ke liye haeejaik raha lekin pulis ke adane se sipahi se lekar grhamantri taka, kisi ke bhi kan par joon to chhodiye shera, bagha, siyara, lomadi, udabilaw kuchh bhi n renga .
huaa yoon ki jedda se ek wishesh wiman hajiyon ko lekar dilli aa raha tha . dilli men kohara jyada tha isaliye wiman ko munbaee eyaraport par utar diya gaya . naye steshan par utarana hajiyon ka nahin bhaya so unhonne payalat samet jahaj ke sabhi kru menbars ko jahaj se utarane nahin diya aur jahaj ka darawaja band kar diya . eyar indiya prabandhan aur hajiyon ke bich kafi bak-jhak hone ke bad jahaj ko 15 ghante bad dilli rawana kiya gaya . aal indiya kebin kru esoshiyeshan ne nagarik uddayan mahanideshalay ko is haeejaik kand ki shikayat kar ke janch karane ki mang ki hai . unhen hardik kasht is bat ka hai ki si.aaee.yesa.yefa. aur pulis wale poori ghatana ke dauran kahan tash-patti khel rahe the jo ek bhi aadami thri nant thri ki raifal lakar unaki madad ko nahin aaya . had kar di bhaee logon ne . to mitron ye thi duniya ki anokhi plen haeejaiking jis par kisi ne bhi dhyan nahin diya . mainne is liye dhyan diya kyonki blang par bahut dinon se kuchh masala nahin dala tha so naye sal par shriganesh kar diya hai . ab aage ki bhagawan kartikey aur amma parwati jane . bhagawan shankar ka kya hai ki wo to bhang aur dhatoora gatake pade rahate hain kailash par . hai ki nahin . jhooth kah raha han to batao . nahin bol raha han to bhi batao . jay ho baba bhale nath ki .

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manhagaee ka toda (wyangya/kartoona)

Posted by K M Mishra on November 23, 2009

aadami kya khaye aur kya piye ? manhagaee surasa chachi ke munh se bhi bada munh fadati ja rahi hai . isake munh se sirf ‘ati laghuroopa’ (atyant gariba) men wicharane wale hi bach sakate hain ya fir ‘kanak bhoodharakar sarira’ wale (sone se made huye loga). nichi udan udane wale madhyamawarg ki chhaya pakad kar ye unhen pis kar khati ja rahi hai . sal bhar ke andar genhoo, chawala, dala, fala, sabji sab aasaman men pahunch gaye . mudrasfiti ki dar raja bali ka sir ho gayi aur manhagaee waman maharaj ka pair .=>
=>abe itte wadde wadde aansu kyoon baha raha hai . lagan ka sijan aa gaya hai . soot draiklin karawa kar kot ki oopari jeb men ek rangin lifafa saja le aur kisi bhi barat men ghus ja . jakar with faimili jitani marji kare utani dal pi . jebon men salad bhar le . ledij pars men pulaw bharawa le . mojon men froot chat ghused le aur taee men rasagulle thoons le . aur ab bhi ji n bhare to panni men kachaudiyan aur miks panir ka bhagauna udeta chal . basiauta khane ka maja hi kuchh aur hota hai . ye sari chijen matr 51 roo0 men upalabdh hain . falatu men manhagaee ka munh inchitep se nap raha hai . netaon se haram ka mal khana sikh le, sukhi rahega .

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hamin se mohabbata, hamin se ladaee ……..(wyangya/kartoona)

Posted by K M Mishra on November 18, 2009


wahi ho raha hai mitron jisaka mujhe dar tha . shanti ka nobel bharat ko bhari padane ja raha hai . miyan obama nyookliyar dil ke bad bhi apani aankhon ke motiyabind se chhutakara nahin pa sake hain . dil ke ek sal bad achanak unhonne bharat se paramanu aprasar par aashwasan patr ki mang kar dali. bharat ka paramanu aprasar men ab tak ka bedag rikard unaki aankhon ke motiyabind ne chhipa diya . miyan obama, ameriki sarakar aaj bhi aaee.yesa.aaee jo ki poori duniya men faile aatankawadiyon ki ghoshit malakin hai ko gupt roop se dhan muhaiya karati hai, usase aaj tak koee aashwasan patr nahin prapt kar saki aur ham jo ki wishw shanti ke sabase oonche efil tawar hai so tumhen dikhaee nahin pad raha hai . gandhi ke bharat ke sath aisa salook . dhany ho tum aur tumhari chirakutaee . chitthad kahin ke, tumhen shanti ke nobel ka motiyabind huaa hai, jisaka koee ilaj nahin . obama miyan, tum shanti ke nobel ki jhad par jyada din nahin tik paoge aur jald hi munh ke bal afganistana, pakistan men dher pade miloge .

shanti ke nobel ka saeed ifaikt ab najar aane laga hai . obama aajakal chin ki yatra par hain . chin ke nam se aajakal bade badon ki pent gili ho ja rahi hai . obama thahare waise hi shanti ke pujari . ek bayan men tibbat ki dikkat ko sulata diya . ”tibbat chin ka hissa hai aur dalaee lama ko chin ke sath baith kar sab masale sulata lene chahiye .” prachin kal ke santon wali mohak adayen . ek dayalang bola aur ho gaya dusht ka hrday pariwartan . bijing se aaya obama ka yah bayan dusht dalaeelama ka hrday pariwartan kar dega . aakramanakari chin ne tibbat hadap liya to kya huaa . samarath ko nahin dosh gusaeen . wishw shanti ke liye badi-badi kimaten chukani padati hain . abaki kimat chukane ki bari dalaeelama ki hai . dabangon ne ek gariba, dukhiyari man ka apaharan kar liya to shanti ke pujari usake rote bachche ko wishw shanti ki nasihat dekar chup kara rahe hain . obama tum tunn ho gaye ho shanti ke nobel ki sharab se . jab tak kisi nali men nahin giroge tab tak isaka haingaowar bana rahega .

obama ke rashtrapati banane se pahale bade halle the . badi ummiden thin ki jo gandagi jarj bush poori duniya men faila kar gaye hain shayad obama use saf kar saken . shuru shuru men aisa lag bhi raha tha . lekin shanti ka nobel lag raha hai sara khel hi chaupat kar dalega . nawajat obama ke sakumar kandhon par itta bhari bojh . kadam dagamagane lage hain . tibbat chin ka hissa hai, bharat se paramanu aprasar ke liye aashwasan patr ki manga, afganistan men narm talibaniyon ki taraf jhukaw ye sab shanti ke nobel ki karatoot hai .

jald hi manamohan sinh obama ke sarakari mehaman banane ja rahe hain . manamohan ke ejende men istemal ho chuke yooreniyam ke punarsanskaran ki takaniki hasil karana hai aur obama ke ejende men bharat ko thenga dikhana hai . mujhako lagata hai ki aashwasan patr ki mang bharat par preshar banane ke liye ki ja rahi bargening bhar hai . bana lo preshar . yahan to ena.yesa.ji. se chhoot milate hi bharat sarakar ne nyookliyar dil ki handi aadhe darjan deshon ke sath chada li hai . tum nahin sanama, koee aur sahi . rani roothegi to apana hi suhag legi . dil nahin hogi to tumhari hi kampaniyan baith kar tapengi . aur achchha hi hai ki yah dil n ho kyonki hamare waijnyanik haiwi wantar riyektar aur lait wantar riyektar donon hi prakar ke nyookliyar riyekt banane men saksham hain . poorn swedeshi nyookliyar sabamarin aaee. ena. esa. arihant isaka sabase bada udaharan hai . rahi sahi kasar ham roos aur frans se takaniki sahayog lekar poori kar lenge . rahi yooreniyam ki upalabdhata ki bat to lakhon tan yooreniyam meghalay aur rajasthan me pada huaa hai . bharat men kisi chij ki kami nahin hai pyare obama . bas netaon ko kamishan khane ka rog laga huaa hai . yahi hamari sabase badi dikkat hai .

<=obama ke rashtrapati banane se pahale bade halle the . lekin ab inake lachchhan dekh kar awadhi ki ek kahawat yad aati hai ''rat bhar sohar gayen . sawere dekhe to betawa ke aujaray nahin .''

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marathi wanamanushon ka hallabol . (wyangya/kartoona)

Posted by K M Mishra on November 17, 2009

sachin ki tippani ”main marathi hoon par pahale main ek bharatiy hoon” par chinchiaaye budhaoo bal thakare ne sachin ko fokat ki nasihat de dali ”aap kriket ki pich par chauke chhakke lagane ke liye swatantr hain lekin rajaniti ki pich se door rahen (kyonki budhaoo thakare apane bhatije se hi par nahin pa rahe hain sachin bhi agar rajaniti men utar gaye to unako ritayard hart ho jana padega) . aapake is bayan se marathi manush dukhi huaa hai .” marathi manush ka to pata nahin par marathi wanamanush ke tesuye jaroor bahane lage hain .

budhaoo thakare bhi majaboor the . isase pahale ki unaka wanamanush bhatija mudde par hath saf karata unhonne daeew mar kar mudde ko kaich kar liya . rashtriy star par gali khane ke liye unhen koee antarrashtriy star ka ghatiya bayan dena tha . unhonne diya aur badale men unhen poore desh se ‘get wel soona’ ke sandesh prapt huye . sanakane ki koee umr nahin hoti . chacha-bhatije ke pas aur koee kam nahin hai . ek pattha widhanasabha ko akhada banaye huye hai to doosara chand ki taraf munh kar ke laghu shanka se niwrt ho raha hai .

bi. si. si. aaee. upadhyaksha, kangres ratn shri rajiw shukl ne dashakon bad koee achchhi bat kahi ”thakare mo0 ali jinna ki bhasha bol rahe hain .” is bayan se do baten pata chalati hain ki kangresi jinna ko achchha aadami nahin manate hain aur doosari bat rajiw shukl ka yah bayan kangresi nitiyon se koson door hai . rajiw shukl ko is bayan ke liye soniya gandhi shanti puraskar se nawaja jana chahiye . wanamanush chacha ke wanamanush bhatije ko pala pos kar kangres ne hi khada kiya hai . agar kangres hrday se is desh ke sanwidhan men aastha rakhati hai to sanwidhan ki mool bhawana aur desh ki ekata aur akhandata ke sath durachar karane wale in donon marathi wanamanushon ki parti ko pratibandhit karane ke liye use ilekshan kamishan ka darawaja khatakhatana chahiye .

kangres ne angrejon se satta paee . angrejon ne bharat par lagabhag 200 sal ‘diwaeed end roola’ panlisi ki madad se raj kiya . satta par lambe samay tak kabja banaye rakhane ke liye kangresiyon ne bhi isi panlisi ka sahara liya . wot kato aur raj karo . is kam ke liye wot katawa wanamanushon ki jaroorat padati hai isaliye alag alag rajyon men wanamanushon ko majabooriwash palana padata hai . maharashtr aur aandhrapradesh isake taja udaharan hain .

thakare ke is bayan se mahan sachin ka kuchh bhi nukasan nahin huaa par duniya ko pata chal gaya ki booda wanamanush tan se ab bhi swasthy hai alabatta dimag jaroor pahale ki tarah aswasth hai . main to eeshwar se dono chacha-bhatije ke manasik swasthy ki kamana karata hoon aur get wel soon ke mantr ka jap karata hoon . aap bhi mitron isi mantr ka jap kariye .

=>sachin kriket khelo, kriket . rajaniti mat khelo .

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ye aag kab bujhegi ? (wyangya/kartoona)

Posted by K M Mishra on October 31, 2009

pichhale 36 ghante se jayapur ke sitapur ilake men indiyan aayal ke dipo men agnidew ne apani krodhagni prajjawalit kar rakhi hai . bharat sarakar ek panthanirapeksh sarakar hai isaliye wah kisi dharm-karm ke mamale men hath nahin dalati . niti ke wiroodhd hota hai . isaliye hamare suyogy kendriy mantri shri murali dewada ne apane dono hath khade kar diye hain . unaka kahana hai ki kisi bhi prakar ki koshish bekar hai isaliye ham agnidew ka krodh shant hone ka intajar karenge . aag sab kuchh jala kar khud-b-khud khatm ho jayegi . wahi bat huyi ki gadi men brek ki kya jaroorat hai, takara kar apane aap rook jayegi . tab tak kya kareेnge ? dilli men baith kar ti.wi. par alaw tapenge . gyarah tainkar fat chuke hain . barahawen ke bhi fatane ka maja lena hai . dipawali ke bad 1000 karod ka diwala nikal raha hai .

mitron, jwalanashil padarth rakhane ke liye sarakar se laisens lena jaroori hota hai . jwalanashil padarth rakhane ke liye tamam suraksha ke manakon ko poora karana hota hai . jab sarakari kampaniyan hi manakon ko poora karane men laparawahi barat rahi hain tab doosaron se to ummid karana hi bekar hai . jayapur ki ghatana ke bad tel mantralay kah raha hai ki hamane kabhi itani badi aag ke bare men socha hi nahin tha . bhaiya jab bujhane ka boota nahin hai tab itta masala ek jagah ikattha hi kyon karate ho . jana, dhan aur paryawaran ka tentuaa dabane ke liye . sarakar bhale n soche magar aise dipo, rifainariyon, rifaling steshanon ke bagal men makan lene wale sabase pahale yahi sochate hain ki agar kisi din sasura fata tab kitana bada ilaka swaha hoga? janata ko sarakar ki aukat ke bare men kafi kuchh pata hota hai .

hamesha ki tarah janch ke liye ek kameti ka gathan kar diya gaya hai . pata nahin ye koee durghatana hai ya padosi ki wah karatoot jisaki chetawani pichhale do mahine se izarayala, amerika sahit pradhanamantri tak khud de chuke hain . jo bhi ho lekin isase desh bhar men faile aayal dipo ki suraksha par shanka uthani shuru ho gayi hai . bahut se dipo aur rifaling steshanon ki doori to aabadi se adhik door bhi nahin hai . jayapur ke agnikand ne aatankiyon ko khoob nayanasukh pradan kiya hoga . is prakar ke dipo aur rifaling steshan aatankiyon ke liye saft target to nahin ? chek kar lo bhaiya . kahin agali bar fir se n kah do ki hamari sarakar panthanirapeksh sarakar hai aur dewi-dewataon ke kam men ham log tang ghusane ki koshish nahin karate hain .

=>pranam agnidew .

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manamohan-obama ka gharelu mamala . (w‍yang‍ya/kartoona)

Posted by K M Mishra on October 26, 2009

ame‍rika ke rash‍trapati barak obama hamare chiranjiwi pradhanamantri manamohan sinh ji ki mejabani ki taiyariyon men ji jan se lage huye hain . mahat‍ma gandhi ke sath dinar ki kh‍wahi‍sh ne hi unako shanti ke nobel se wibhooshit karawa diya to sasharir manamohan sinh ke sath lanch-dinar karane par unako n jane kaun si mahan upalabdhi ho jaye . kuchh bhi sarapraij ho sakata hai . filahal unako manamohan sinh ji ka besabri se intajar hai . unaka hrday itana pulakit huaa ja raha hai ki bhawawesh men unaki jaban fisali ja rahi hai . kal hi mare khushi ke unake munh se nikal gaya ki we manamohan sinh ji ko apane pariwar ka his‍sa manate hain . unake is dayalag se is‍lamabad men kuchh 4.5 tiwrata ka bhukanp mahasoos kiya gaya lekin fir sab narmal ho gaya . pakis‍tan jisake rish‍te amerika se nitant gharelu taip rahe hain wo ach‍chhi tarah se janata hai ki bade logon ko jab garib guraba se koee chhota mota kam nikalawana hota hai to wo sirf jabani kharch se kam lete hai aur apana ul‍lu sidha kar lete hain . jaise rik‍shewale ko 5-10 roopaye kam dene hon to ras‍te bhar usake ganw aur kheti badi ka hal chal lete raho aur ghar pahunch kar ek dhela gud ek lote pani ke sath tika do . ho gaya fayade ka sauda . obama ko bhi n‍yookliyar dil ke bad ab sitibiti aur enapiti ke ul‍lu dikhaee pad rahe hain jin‍hen wah hamen tikana chahata hai . shanti ka nobel sala kahin bharat ko bhari n pad jaye .

n‍yookliyar dil men bahut si kamini harakat hamare sath ki gayin ya ye kahiye ki pichhali manamohan sarakar ne pata nahin kis lalach men in sharton ko s‍wikar kiya tha . hamako is‍temal huye yoo‍reniyam ke punarsans‍karan ka adhikar is dil men nahin diya gaya hai . manamohan sinh ko apani is washingatan yatra men yah upahar milane ki badi um‍mid hai lekin obama sirf jabani jamakharch se hi kam chalana chahate hain aur garib aadami ko kuchh dene ke bajaye wo usaki anti men se hi kuchh kam ki chij nikal lena chahate hain . jaise dhandhe ke naye kshetr . bharat sarakar apani raksha jarooraton ke liye aane wale kuchh sal men 100 arab dalar ki kharidari karane ja rahi hai . mandi se joojhate amerika ko filahal manamohan sinh pariwar ke aadami hi lagenge . apane bharat men agar kisi fariyadi ko talana hota hai to usase yahi kaha jata hai ‘are aap kyoon pareshan ho rahe hain . aap to ghar ke aadami hain’’ . ghar ka aadami yani ki ghar ki murgi dal barabar . dekhiye manamohana‍ sinh ji ko k‍ya hasil hota hai is yatra se . we obama se kuchh hasil kar pate hain ya obama manamohan ko moodate hain, ye to wak‍t hi batayega .


^=aaee law chikan pulaw en‍d leg pisej

Posted in hindi hasy wyangy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

mastaramaind aatanki hafij saeed baijzat bari (wyangya/kartoona)

Posted by K M Mishra on October 13, 2009

=>jaj sahaba, krpaya mukaddame ki barikiyon par nazar dalen. mohatarama ki tangon se jyada sangin mulajim ke aparadh hain.

drshy : lahaur ki ek kriminal kort .

jamadar : mulajim hafij saeed hazir hon sssss .

hafij saeed : madara…, nabine ki aulad . dide foot gaye hain tere . samane hi to khada han, kyoon halak fad kar chilla raha hai . jis din e.ke. -47 ki nal halak men ghused doonga us din sunoonga teri aawaz .

jamadar : maee bapa, muaaf karen, naukari hai, so chillana padata hai . fir aapako kaun nahin janata . hindustan se lekar amarika tak bade halle hain aapake . tasharif laiye . adalat intazar kar rahi hai .

hafij saeed : abe sale, intajar to hamara miyan musharraf tak kiya karate the, ye do take ki adalat kya chiz hai . bhaina….., ek to mulk aur islam ke liye zihad ka nara buland karate firo, oopar se ye kort-kachahari ka chakkar alag se . ab kort men hajiri den ki hindustan men dahashat gardi ka nanga khel khelen . jab se haramakhoron ne nazaraband kiya hai zindagi dozakh ho gaee hai . do mahine ho gaye kisi kashmiri aurat ke sath jina kiye.

jaj : are! aaiye, aaiye hafij sahab . aadab . aaj idhar kaise aana huaa aapaka . sab khairiyat to hai .

hafij saeed : khuda khair kare . jab mulk ke sipahi bandook chhod kar adalaton ke chakkar lagayenge tab parawaradigar hi is mulk par raham kha sakata hai .

jaj : o achchha, achchha . ab samajha . kahan to sarakar ko mubanee hamale ke liye aapako nishane- pak se nawazana chahiye tha aur kahan kafiron ke zara sa chillane par aapako nazaraband kar diya . mitti pade maradoodon ke munh par . aap aaram se tasharif rakhiye . kya lenge ? thanda garam ya fir kuchh khane ko mangaye .

hafij saeed : are nahin, nahin . takalluf kyoon karate hain . abhi do plet kabab ghar se kha kar nikala hoon . aaj nahin, fir kabhi ghar aakar maje se chay-nashta kar jaunga . bachche kaise hain . begam ka kaun sa mahina chal raha hai . kitane bachche ho gaye aapake? sat hain ki aath ?

jaj : aapaki yaddasht bhi ab kamazor hone lagi hai . nau to pahale se hi the . abaki julaee men kul das ho jayenge . bada karam hai alla tala ka .

hafij saeed : aap bhi islam ke sachche sipahi hain . jitane bachche honge utana hi islam majaboot hoga . sabako mere madarase men talim ke liye bhej dena . sabako talibani bana doonga .

jaj : ji, ji, bahut achchha, shukriya aapaka . han, peshakar mukaddama shuru kiya jaye .

sarakari wakil aage aata hai .

jaj : aap sarakar ki taraf se wakil hain . mulajim ka wakil kahan hai .

sarakari wakil : hujoora, main sarakar aur mulajim donon ka hi wakil hoon . sarakar ka wakil ban kar naukari baja raha hoon aur hafij sahab ka wakil ban kar islam ki madad kar raha hoon .

jaj : achchha thik hai . bahas shuru karen .

sarakari wakil : hujoora, mulajim par iljam hai ki usane bharat ke shahar munbaee par aatanki hamale ke liye dahashatagardon ko trening di, hathiyar aur roopaye muhaiya karaye aur hamale ka poora mansooba bhi inhonne hi taiyar kiya .

jaj : wakile safaee ka kya kahana hai .

wakil safaee : hujoora, ye iljam sau fisadi sahi hain . lekin choonki mulajim ne ye sari karyawahi islam aur mulk ke prati apani wafadari dikhane ke liye ki hai, isaliye mulajim ke jajbaton ka khyal rakhate huye is nek kam ke liye usaki hausalaafajaee karani chahiye aur baijzat bari kiya jana chahiye . zihad ke liye mar mitane wale khuddar sainikon ki jagah adalaton aur kaidakhanon men nahin hai . unhen to kafiron ko unhin ki zamin par jibah karane aur unaki auraton, bachchiyon ke sath jina karane ka pak kam ajanm dena hota hai .

jaj : thik kah rahe hain aap . sarakari wakil sahaba, mulajim ke khilaf aapake pas koee saboot ya gawah hai ya sirf kori laffaji se hi aap kam chalayenge .

sarakari wakal : hujoora, bharat se kuchh raddi dastawez bheje gayen hain, jinhen ki wo saboot kah rahe hain .

wakile safaee : jaj sahaba, ab bhala kagaz ke chand tukadon ke bina par kya ham mulk aur islam ke khairakhwah is insan ko kaid kar sakate hai . ab aise hi kafiron ki chill-pon par kan dene lagenge to ho chuka zihad aur ban chuka pakistan muslim deshon ka saradar . ab dekhiye itane saboot the da0 abdul kadir khan sahab ke khilafa, amarika pichha pada huaa tha ki unhonne hi libiya, eeran jaise mulkon ko paramanu takaniki muhaiya karayi thi, to kya ham hamare mulk ke mahan sainsadan ko til til kar marane ke liye si. aaee. e. ko supurd kar dete . fir hujoor kya koee mulk apane bahadur sipahiyon par isaliye mukaddama chalata hai ki usane dushmanon ko halak kiya tha . bharat ke liye hafij sahab bhale hi aparadhi ho lekin hamare liye to wo islam ka paracham laharane wale ek bahadur sipahi hain aur poore mulk ko un par naz hai . mulk ki bhalaee ke liye aur zihad ke jhande ko ooncha banaye rakhane ke liye main is adalat se darakhwast karata hoon ki is mahan shakhsiyat aur sipahi ko is adalat se baijzat bari kiya jaye .

jaj: sarakari wakil ko aur kuchh kahana hai .

sarakari wakil : nahin hujoor . aap jaisa munasib samajhen faisala sunayen .

tabhi adalat ka ek karmachari aakar jaj ke kan men kuchh kahata hai .

karmachari : hujoora, baluchistan se mulla umar aur laden sahab ka tar aaya hai ki hafij sahab ko zihad ka paracham laharane ke liye jald se jald riha kiya jaye .

jaj : achchha, achchha .

jaj : danon taraf ki dalilon ko sunane ke bad aur pesh kiye gaye chand raddi sabooton ko dekhane ke bad ye adalat is faisal par pahunchi hai ki mulajim hafij saeed kataee gunehagar nahin hain aur choonki bharat ke kanoon pakistan men lagu nahin hote hain aur koee bhi mulk apane sipahiyon ko bahaduri ke ewaj men unhen inamon se nawazata hai naki unako saja sunata hai isaliye ye adalat islam aur mulk ke aala sipahi hafij saeed sahab ko baijzat bari karati hai .

bhid : mubarak ho, mubarak ho .

patrakar : hafij sahab ab aap aazad hain . sabase pahala kam ab aap kaun sa karenge .

hafij saeed : bahut din ho gaye kisi kafir ka katl kiye huye aur kamasin kashmiri seb danto se kate huye . kuchh din mujzafarabad men rah kar pahale sharir ki thakan utaroonga usake bad kashmir ki aazadi ke liye fir se zihad shuru karoonga . achchha khuda hafij .

Posted in hindi hasy wyangy | 6 Comments »

barak obama ko shanti ka aur nobel puraskar kameti ko hasy-wyangy ka nobela (wyangya/kartoona)

Posted by K M Mishra on October 10, 2009

dhany hain nobel praij kameti wale bhi . yudhda, garibi, bhukhamari, swain floo, aatankawada, prakrtik aapadaon aadi se trast duniya ke chahare par ek adad muskan lane ke liye wo kisi bhi had tak ja sakate hain . wo chale bhi gaye . kamayabi ne charan choome aur obama ko matr tin bhashanon ke liye shanti ka nobel de diya gaya . obama ko shanti ka aur puraskar kameti ko duniya ko hansane ke liye hasy-wyangy ka nobel .

praga, kahira aur sanyukt rashtrasangh men shanti aur paramanu nirastrikaran ki mala japane ke liye obama ko yah puraskar diya gaya hai lekin puraskar kameti walon se ek bhari chook ho gayi . wo manamohan sinh ko bhool gaye jinhonne amerika ke charake me nyookliyar dil par sain karake bharat ko badhiya banane men amerika ki madad ki . hamane plootoniyam aadharit sairas nyookliyar riyektar ko band kar diya hai jisase hamen paramanu bam ke liye plootoniyam milata tha . shanti ka nobel sammilit roop se obama aur manamohan dono ko milana chahiye tha .

mahatma gandhi ke sath dinar ka khwab dekhane wale ko aath mah men hi nobel puraskar mil gaya aur bapu jiwan bhar satya, ahinsa ke liye anashan karate rah gaye aur mili bhi to godase ke pistaul se nikali goliyan . bharat ke hath se paramanu bam ki takat chhin kar bapu ki lathi pakadane ke liye hi obama ko nobel mila hai . jo desh asahayog aandolan ka janmadata raha ho usake hath men paramanu bam shobha nahin dete . paramanu bam bane hain pakistana, eerana, myanmara, chin aur alakayada ke liye . abdul kadir khana, musharraf chahe makka madine men khade ho kar chillayen ki hamane hi paramanu bam ka farmoola doosare deshon ko gift kiya tha to bhi amerika ko unaki bat par wishwas nahin hoga (majak karane se baj nahin aate haramakhora) .

aajakal dalaee lama obam ke bulawe par washingatan ki khak chhan rahe hain . chin ne ghudak diya hai isaliye shanti ke pujari obama ab lama se milane men hichak rahe hain . duniya men shanti to bani rahegi par ghar ki shanti men khalal pad gayi to man ki shanti bhi jati rahegi .


<=sar ji jo 14 lakh dalar aapako mil rahe hain inam ke wo hamen de dijiye . unase ham kuchh hathiyar kharid lenge taliban aur bharat se ladane ke liye . in hathiyaron se hamare man ko shanti milegi aur bharat ki nind haram hogi .

Posted in hindi hasy wyangy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

aashikon ne najaren gada gada kar dekha hai . (wyangya/kartoona)

Posted by K M Mishra on October 9, 2009

prthwi ke ek matr upagrah shriman chand ki ab khair nahin . bharat ke chandrayan – 1 ne mi0 chand ki satah par pani hone ki sambhawana batayi to nasa ne turant ek raket chand ki taraf uchhal diya jo mi0 chand ki khupadiya (dhruwa) par ek ke ek do dhamake karega aur pata karega ki chand par wakaee men pani hai ya ek bar fir amerika ke karodon dalar par pani fir gaya hai . takkar ki khabar sun kar shriman chand pasine pasine ho rahe hain us rogi ke mafik jise strechar par lad kar mejar aapareshan ke liye aapareshan thiyetar ki taraf le jaya ja raha ho .

shriman chand ki halat dekh kar mujhe us mashooka ka (meri nahin galib ki) khyal aa raha hai jisake chehare par chechak nikal aayi thi aur usane kuchh is tarah apani musibat ka thikara apane aashikon ke sir foda tha .

ye chechak ke dag nahin galib .
aashikon ne najaren gada gada kar dekha hai .

shriman chand ki chand par agar is takkar ke bad bhi pani nahin nikala to wah to sharm se pani pani ho jayenge . bhala yah bhi koee bat hogi ki pani se labalab bhari prthwi ka rat din chakkar lagane wale mi0 chand ke ghar se ek balti pani bhi n baramad ho . doob marane ki bat hogi . lekin doobane ke liye bhi to chullu bhar pani ki jaroorat hoti hai . dekhate hain ki aaj ki is takkar se nasa ko kitana pani milata hai . mil jaye to nasa ki nak bhi bachi rahe aur shriman chand bhi sharm se pani pani hone se bach jayenge.

<=sharif auraton ka ghar se nikalana mushkil ho gaya hai . nasapita rat din prthwi ke chakkar lagata firata hai . chand si shakl par bada guman hai n tere ko . itani mar manrooga ki shero-shayari se chand sa chehara dilit ho jayega .

Posted in hindi hasy wyangy | 2 Comments »

karina ab sikhengi ekting ke gura (hasya/wyangya)

Posted by K M Mishra on October 7, 2009

aakhir bebo ko akl aa hi gayi . kab tak wo hi, hi, hoo, hoo, wali adaon aur ziro saiz figar ke khanbhe par chadi rahatin . baliwud men hiroinen 13 sal ki umr men hi jawan ho jati hai par unaki akl ki dad tab nikalani shuru hoti hain jab unaki chikani twacha men jhurriyan padane lagati hain . der aayad duroost aayad . bebo ekting sikh lengi to kuchh sal aur silwar skrin par khinch jayengi nahin to saif ali se kharcha mangane ki naubat aa jayegi .=>

Posted in hindi hasy wyangy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

upadrawiyon ne hatharas men mahananda eksapres ko aag men jhonka . (wyangya/kartoona)

Posted by K M Mishra on October 1, 2009

=>
bharatiy rela, hamari sanpatti . apani sanpatti ko foonkane ka hamen naisargik adhikar hai . ha, ha, ha, . sarakar bhi hamara kitana khyal rakhati hai . pariwahan wibhag jaldi hi uttarapradesh men 2200 basen utarane ja raha hai . apani sanpatti ko foonkane ka maja hi kuchh aur hota hai . jo ghar foonke aapana chale hamare sath .

Posted in hindi hasy wyangy | 1 Comment »

kwatrochi ke khilaf si.bi.aaee. ke pas koee saboot nahin. (wyangya/kartoona)

Posted by K M Mishra on September 30, 2009

=>bhaun, bhaun, bhaun, bhaun, bhaun,

<=abe sale ! tere ku itana bhi nahin pata ki atithi dewo bhaw hote hain . fir sarakari atithi par bhaunk kar tu apani haddi se bhi panje dho baithega . sarakari naukari men sirf usi par bhaunka jata hai jisase sarakar ko khatara ho .

Posted in hindi hasy wyangy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

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